Stress

Classes haven't even started yet and I am incredibly stressed. I like the house I am in within New House, and I like my roommates, and I like the other people, but we got the loudest room in the place, right next to the lounge and I am the one who probably needs to go to bed the earliest because of rowing. Then someone told me that German House has an opening and now I have to consider that. The pros are that they cook everynight and it's quiet, but only like one or two actually speak German. I haven't met everyone, and one guy is uber annoying, but most of the others seem nice. This is just causing me crazy stress. I feel like German House has a lot of things to offer, but it wasn't what I wanted. And I don't really want to leave New House 4, but I feel like having trouble sleeping and having to worry about dinner everynight could be bad. If I was staying up on the same sleep schedule as the people in the lounge, it would be fine, but with rowing, I have to get sleep. We probably should have put that we wanted a quiet room on the sheet, but there weren't things to check and we didn't even think about it.

The other thing I'm stressing out about is classes. I really want to take this globalization class, but I can't if I'm in my seminar, which seems okay, but I'm not sure. I'm more interested right now in the cultural part that comes with globalization than with the development part, but maybe that would change with development experience? I talked to Donna Friedman who is like the head of UAAP and she sounded like changing was possible, but she didn't seem very happy about it. She said I could do the seminar as a listener, but I'm already supposed to be taking Czech as a listener once or twice a week at Harvard. I'm just worried I am stretching myself to thin, and nothing's even started yet. I really don't know what to do.

FPOP/Orientation

I have never been so busy in my life. FUP was really fun. I met 50 awesome people, and we may not be best best friends, but I have probably 45 people I am comfortable going up to and talking to. It would take a really long time to explain it all, and it's midnight right now, but I'll try and post it later. But to say we did community service, skits, late nights and it lasted from 7am to 1am.

Orientation is also crazy. Events happening around the clock, at every dorm and more than that. I think I am going to enter the housing lottery for Burton Connor, and if I don't get it, I'll stay in New House. I was excited about looking at German House, but it isn't that exciting, and all the freshman who speak German are leaving because no one speaks German. Seriously like 5 out of 24 people actually speak German. But anyway, this is just a small update, more to come later.

I'm Here

So it's really strange to actually be here. On the plane I was kind of freaking out that I'm not ready for college- I'm not old enough, I haven't spent enough time at home, but right now I'm okay.

I haven't actually met any other freshman yet, other than a girl who I got lost at the airport with because I'm the only freshman in New House 4 yet (I think, or so I'm told). I went in and registered, and then played Rock Band with 2 upperclassmen and then ate pasta with some others and now I'm back in my room.

The room is kind of typical dorm room. It has ugly wood furniture and a linoleum floor. It's actually a triple, but I'm the only one here, so I took the single bed, partly because I know one other girl is getting here Friday, and I don't know if the other exists, and I really don't like bunk beds. I made my bed, and the rest of my luggage is still unpacked.

Leaving

I leave for the airport in about 15 minutes, and I don't know what to think. It wasn't quite this bad when I was leaving for Czech for a year. Now this is the end of when I can really call home, well, home. I feel like everything is about to change and I don't know if I'm ready for that. Boston suddenly seems very far away.

FAS Results

So I kind of have mixed feelings about the FAS results. I got into 16.A48, the iHouse seminar. But I'm not in iHouse nor have I had any intention recently of being in iHouse. I did put it on my housing application, but since then, nothing. I thought you could only get into this if you were in iHouse and I put it on my seminar app because I was interested at that time in being in iHouse.

I am still interested in international development, but the other three FAS I signed up for are all completely hands on and I was so looking forward to trying something completely new and doing projects. To say the least, I am sort of bummed. I emailed someone at iHouse to ask about whether I am supposed to be in the seminar because I'm not in iHouse nor do I want to be a social member, but I just wasn't expecting this one.

Nonetheless, I am still looking forward to MIT, but I am starting to freak out. I'm nervous about meeting people, getting dorm stuff (traversing the city to various stores), where I'll end up living, how classes will go, whether I'll be able to take Czech, how I match up in rowing, everything I guess.

Schedule

So this is basically what my last week looks like:

Monday- work work pack
Tuesday- row work pack hang (Hannah gets home)
Wednesday- work pack hang
Thursday - Waterworld pack
Friday - work pack hang
Saturday - volunteer hang movie/dinner
Sunday- fly far far away

And the Days Disappear

I was just looking at my calendar to see when I could work at my Mom's office next week, and I realized, I LEAVE NEXT WEEK. This is crazy.

I've been looking forward to going to MIT for so long, but as it gets closer, I get more nervous. I'm still excited about the possiblities, but it's more the logistics I guess- how to get dorm stuff, what to eat, how to meet people. I guess I'm also sad that I will probably only get to see my parent's a couple times a year. I've done it before, but the realization that this could be the last time I ever really live at home is really daunting. I mean, I'm only 17, and this could be the last 2 weeks where I can ever really call my house, home.

Skull

So today was day 1 of my Moab trip. What did I do? Go through three of the biggest rapids in Westwater Canyon with 6 other inexperienced rafters without a guide. We survived. And it was awesome.



Whitewater rafting is amazing. The best though is in a paddleboat where you have to actually listen to the guide in order to not slam head on to a 12 foot slab of rock sticking out of the middle of the river (i.e. Tully River near Cairns, Australia). But today's was pretty good. Probably a 7. Granted, the little guideless experience definitely lifted that number up a bit, but still.



The story? So basically this river is in the middle of nowhere sort of off of I-70 with only two places in 15 miles where you can drive up to the river. It's about 5 miles of floating, and very small rapids, then maybe 5 miles of awesome rapids, and then 6 more miles of floating. If you have every been to real rapids, you know that sometimes the boat can go a bit...squif. So we were going down not so huge a rapid, and the front went up, and I guess the back when under water, and 3 people fell out- my dad, and the 2 guides (we had two guides because one broke a boat, and all the other people were distributed, and he was the only one who wanted to go on a paddle boat as opposed to you having no paddle and the guide having sculling oars). I was in front, and didn't actually realize that anyone had fallen out until after the next rapid. So we were down three, and then someone else started calling out commands. People seemed to be following them, so I did two. So we very quickly decided the best way to go over rapids is straight through the middle. At least you won't flip. So we went through the first one, and it went well. Then me and the other guy in front realized we were sort of missing people.



Apparently while this was happening, the three missing were picked up by the boat behind us, and there was suprise and amaze and screaming that we were still going. We went through the next rapid, and realized we kind of had no real control because we no longer had anyone acting as a rudder. And this was when the Skull rapid came into our view. The person closest to the back ended up as the rudder (apparently the conversation went "You're a Boy Scout, you can do it. Go!") This next rapid is apparently the most dangerous and biggest out of any of the ones on the river. And it was quite a wall of water. So the 7 of us, finally having discovered the power of the rudder, headed straight for the wall, paddling and hoping for the best. We went up, and then down the other side and then the bigger wall came into view. With the raft going up, and lots of water and lots of running into people we finally made it through, and stopped to pick up our lost guides.

Skull rapid is apparently the most dangerous rapid on the river, with a giant hole and then next to it is a place called "Dead Man's Vortex". My Dad of course, after we got back, researched it and found that someone died there a couple of year's ago after the raft flipped and their body came up in Dead Man's Vortex 5 weeks later.

It was a lot of fun to go through the rapids alone and have the guides utterly amazed that we made it through all three without flipping, but the fact that it really is, well really, dangerous.

Countdown

I just came across my countdown calendar on facebook, and it's at 18 days. I have 18 more days at home. It's kind of frightening. I'm so excited about going, but I also don't know how often I will ever come home again. I am planning on coming home for Christmas, but that may be it. Thanksgiving is too short, hopefully over spring break I'm going to Holland to visit my best friend at her school, and then over the summer, I may be going to Thailand/SE Asia for a couple weeks, and hopefully I'll have an internship. And the type of internships I am interested in don't really happen in Colorado.

It's not only that either. My parents are seriously considering taking up an offer from my Dad's company to move them pretty much where ever in the world they would want to go. I do feel thought that for me, home is more where my parents are than where I grew up. I have really enjoyed living in Louisville/Boulder/Colorado, but I don't know if I will really miss it. It is pretty much the only place I've lived, save Maryland for 18 months when I was 2, and my year in the Czech Republic. I don't know much else. Everyone always tells me that the biggest change will be the weather- humidity, rain.

I guess I will start to see in 18 days. Less than 3 weeks.

Is It a Great Loss?

I am officially without 4 teeth: 1, 16, 17 and 32 I believe. I had heard various horror stories about wisdom teeth extraction, but so far, 16 hours later, mine doesn't seem to be too bad. It was really weird to wake up after the anestesia was a little strange, because I have a vagure recollection of getting the teeth out, but not really. I went home and slept, but after that it all seems pretty okay.

My sustenance for the day has been 2 Jamba Juices, some mashed potatoes and some mac and cheese. And by the mac and cheese (my dinner), I could chew with my front teeth. Progress, I say.

It is kind of important to be okay by this weekend because I have an action filled trip to Moab- rafting, biking and hiking. I'm hoping my three lazy days will mean it's okay.

Curry

The long awaited Thai food has finally been found, and enjoyed. So apparently all the Thai places near my town are "asian diners" meaning they have a curry, and then the American Asian food. The one really good restaurant was owned by this little old Thai lady who did all the cooking and her daughter did the front work, and it was amazing. But apparently they were shut down for not paying some type of tax they didn't know about. It was a serious deprivation. But in the end, Siamese Plate came through. And even gave us free dessert. So a good Thai meal: Thai iced tea, panang curry and coconut custard. Amazing.

Sitting and Going....and Going....and Going

I just got back from our annual driving trip to Utah to visit my Grandparents. And no, they aren't Mormons or Utahians (?), but every summer they along with a million other senior citizens inhabit student apartments to escape the Arizona heat.

I like my grandparents, but it has gotten to the point where 2 days at a time is definitely enough. We usually do the same things when we go to Utah, go shopping, swimming, to the theatre and out to dinner, and it gets a little boring and repetitive. Oh, and we play Mah Jong (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahjong). My grandma has been playing (the Jewish American kind) for almost 50 years, and taught my sister and I to play when we were 8 and 6, respectively. That always kind of amazes people. It's probably the most enjoyable part of visiting them because it's the only time I get to play, and I really do enjoy it. So if anyone wants to get a rolicking game of Mah Jong going at MIT, let me know. And I sort of know how to play the Chinese kind, taught to me by two of my Hong Kong friends in the Czech Republic, though I only played one night, so it is a bit distant. But I would definitely be up for it.

Logan, Utah is about a 9 hour drive from Louisville, Colorado, and it's not the most exciting. Wyoming is a rather ugly, boring state (in my opinion; my sister would say differently- she goes to UW), and very monotonous to drive through. I've driven a couple times, one year the whole nine hours both ways to get the hours I needed to get my license, and others because time goes by faster when you're driving than when you're not. My parents really like road trips. We used to drive every year once to Phoenix and once to Utah, and then other places we have driven are Las Vegas, California, Montana/Canada, New Jersey, Oklahoma, Indiana, and a variety of others.

It was weird to tell people while I was abroad about out auto adventures because in the longest you can drive in the Czech Republic, from the Southeastern corner to the Northwestern corner is about 6 or 7 hours. In most places, drive 2 hours and you're in a different country, with a different languages, and people don't do that too often.

Call to the Bloggers

So Matt just announced the application process for bloggers. Let the rush begin. I never thought I would try to do it, but after restarting a blog this summer after a yearlong hiatus, I remember how much I like it. Basically, I like telling people things, whether they are important, or just random facts about me. Or the occassional vent. But I just like being able to write stuff about my life, and the fact that maybe someone will read it. A journal doesn't quite do it for me, but I do like writing with my fountain pen. Fact #1: I use fountain pens whenever I can. I lost my 100 Kč (maybe $4) fountain pen at Band Camp in the mountains, and probably can't get another one until I go back to the Czech Republic, which is a bummer, but I got a nice one for graduation. But I haven't used it much this summer due to my lack of writing on paper.

Anyway, back to the whole blogging idea. I kept a blog while I was on my year abroad in CZ, and it always suprised me to hear that I had like a following of people living vicariously through me. I guess that's what unusual experiences will do. But it was cool because people sort of knew what I was doing and what I was going through- tough experiences and all. I didn't keep it up during senior year but I just got back into it, and it's a lot of fun. As much as I don't like writing, this is the one kind I really enjoy. I don't know if I even have a chance of getting a blogging position, but I'm going to try anyway. I always feel like I'm sort of an average person doing average things, in an average life, but I like it that way.

Temp Room

So the extent of this post is that I'm temped in New House 4, and very excited about it. More to come later.

Life Can Have So Much Fun

Life is cruel sometimes. I guess this isn't the worst it could be, but it could have been better.

So I went to this meeting/seminar tonight for an "urban adventure race" called the Denver Oyster, and of course they were having a raffle. The prizes included t-shirts, some things to do with the race, a pair of new Merrell shoes and two tickets to the Steamboat Wine Festival. And which did I get? The wine festival tickets of course, even though I am not of age and they probably wouldn't even let me in. I thought about offering the guy who won the shoes an exchange, but he seemed pretty happy, and I figured maybe my parents will appreciate them (aka they love good wine-where it comes from, how it's made etc.). I kind of regret that decision, but whatever. Bargaining power.

So this race, which if all works out I'll be racing with Tim '12 and my friend Hannah who is going to the Utrecht School of the Arts in Utrecht, the Netherlands next year. We haven't signed up yet, but hopefully that will happen in the next day or two. The race is basically a bunch of legs (6 maybe), with a goal, such as take pictures with all the teammates of certain landmarks in Denver and you are given a method of transportation- running, biking, rollerblading/scootering/skateboarding, rafting, creeking. It supposed to be about a 6 hour race in downtown Denver, but apparently it shouldn't take more than 8 hours.

A Day at the Races

So after my slightly morbid post yesterday, I am feeling much better. I had a wonderful regatta today and am now slightly toasty, tired and happy.

Row the Rockies is a HUGE regatta of 3 clubs. (Please note the sarcasm). It is a lot of fun though. The club I'm rowing with this summer, Boulder Community Rowing is a good group of people, fun to be with. The only regattas I've rowed in thus far have been junior regattas. so I was a little oblivious to the whole idea of master rowing and age handicaps. I ended up having 3 races, a double, a women's eight and a women's four.

Chelsea, my doubles partner and I, rowed together the whole of last season after half our (really good) four decided they didn't want to drive 1.5 hours each way to practice (I suppose that's understandable), and so we were down to 2. Since our club doesn't own a pair, double it was. We haven't rowed together since regionals (in a double), and so yesterday we went out again, hoping for the best. I guess it's like riding a bike though, because it went pretty well. We were in the youngest age group, where the average age of our boat was 18, and the other boats in our race were 34,35 and 37. Slight age gap. But we did win the race! Even with the age handicap (basically taking off time based on the difference in ages, I'm not really entirely sure how it works), we were way ahead. One boat in the next age group, women in their 40s, beat us by 7 seconds with the handicap and 2 without, but they gave out medals based on heats, so we walked away with a gold. I feel victorious.

The second race I did, about 3 hours later was a women's eight. According to the lineup I was supposed to be in bow, but seeing how the person who usually rows bow was in 5 seat, and it about 8 inches shorter than I, we logically decided to switch. After some drama at the start (our coxswain doesn't really know how to start a sprint race- get into the block) and evil officials, we ended up in 2nd even though 3 people either had too many or too few oars at the start, and we were still going backwards when they called, I wouldn't say it was too bad. It's been awhile since I've raced a sweep boat, so it was nice to get back in. My last race was a hotseat into a 4, which is always fun. It didn't go quite as well as it could have, I think partly because we were tired, partly because none of us had rowed together before (same in the eight) and partly because the boat was heavily geared towards heavyweight men, so even when we were set, I know my hands were bascially at my chin. And of course there was no way to change it. We came in a pretty close 3rd out of 4 boats, so it wasn't too bad and it was fun.

I love rowing. I just have to say. I love the feeling of lactic acid in my arms, throat and tongue and the desire to cut off my appendages because it hurts so bad. But it feels good. I like the fact that it is an individual and a team sport. If you don't do it well, your boat won't do well, but you're not anything without you're team mates. It's hard for me to fathom that I considered not rowing in college. At most of the schools I looked at, the boathouse was WAY off campus, upwards of 30 minutes one way by car. I wasn't so sure I wanted that. But I don't think I ever truly considered going to a school other than MIT, so I don't know if it really matters. Rowing is a love of mine, I hope a lifelong love. I can't imagine not doing it.

I Feel Alone

And I don't think anyone understands.

I just want to drive to the airport, get on a plane and go somewhere I've never been, where I don't know anyone and don't speak the language. Then stand in the middle of a crowd and then maybe I won't be so alone.

A Day of New Information

So as my very boring, yet practical, title says, a couple of days ago I had an immense day of discovery.



1. I discovered one of managers truly does hate me, and I'm not exactly sure why. She basically had someone else tell me, say I had a bad attitude, and wasn't doing things right because I was moving between stations (when I thought it was good to help people out...). I think the attitude thing is because I wasn't really participating in their conversations, but 1) most of the people I work with, especially the leads are all a lot older than me and their conversations tend to revolve around partying and sex. I don't have much experience with those things, and so I tend to keep quiet, smile and do my work. I like most of the people I work with; I am friends with most of the younger (teens) people, and with some of the older ones who also don't necessarily participate with the others. And 2) When I go into new situations, especially with people who have known each other a long time and are older than me, I tend to observe before I participate. I know this is something I have to work on, but I started work kind of like a deer in the headlights, and I think things have improved immensely since then. So my manager is, of course, in charge of scheduling, but before having this other person talk to me, has never tried to initiate a conversation, other than to tell me to go home early, never went to college and is a single mom. People at work know I'm going to MIT, because they ask, and I kind of think she thinks that I am just a spoiled rich kid doing this job for fun, while the others live alone and need rent money. I may not live alone and need to pay rent, but I have to make money for school. Point blank. So I think she is just kind of jealous and resentful of me. We have also worked together once, with her best friend and they made me go home early. But things have gotten a little better since then I think, I hope. I have talked to her just like in casual conversation, and I am talking more on the line. Hopefully things will be okay. I only have 6 more weeks.

2. My car died. I mean literally, it just died. I was driving home from work, and when I was on the highway in 4th gear it didn't feel like it was getting any gas when I pushed on the gas pedal, and it was slowing down, so I switched into 3rd gear, and it was okay. And then I got off the highway because of major traffic and after the light, 3rd gear was having some issues. Then maybe 2 miles up the road, after I had to stop at a stop light, the max speed was about 5 miles per hour. So I pulled over, unsure exactly what was happening, and sort of mad because I just had to put a new clutch in my truck, and now this. This guy pulled over, and I was sort of wary, but after some inspection, he said he thought it was the fuel pump and there was nothing he could do, so he left. Luckily I had a (stupid) book, so I had something to do to kill time until my dad came. And this day was a scorcher. Kind of sucked. My truck sounded so sick though, if I tried to start it, it would sort of gurgle, and then stop. My dad came, but was on a conference call, and so he closed all the windows (no breeze), stuck his head in the car and talked on the phone. This was unbearable, but we had to wait for the tow truck. I got off work at 2:30, the tow truck came at 5, and I got home at 5:30. Basically 3 hours on the side of the road. Exciting day. Now I don't know if my parents are going to help fix the truck, or whether he is truly dead, which would be really sad. I love my truck, with my CZ and rowing stickers. His name is Fred and I hope he lives.

3. I learned that my best friend has decided to go to school in Utrecht, the Netherlands. She was going to go study trumpet performance at Grand Valley State University in Michigan, but she was never very excited about that and she went to this trumpet camp, and there was a professor from this school in the Netherlands and after about a week of deliberation, she is officially going to Utrecht School of the Arts. This was just sort of sudden and not something I evre had expected from her, but I am a big advocate of international, independent experience and I think it will be good for her. And now I have just another excuse to go travel.

Agh.

My mother does not understand why I'm upset. Normally, we get on very well. She's definitely one of my best friends. But this escapes her.

I just found out my AP scores. They're not bad, 5 on Macro and BC, 4 on Lang, but it's not what I was expecting. I had prepared myself to get a 5 on Lang. My AP Lang teacher is an amazing teacher, but definitely difficult. I improved from getting 5s and 6s on my essays to only getting 8s and 9s. I was getting 5s on the practice multiple choice tests we did. This is why I don't know why I got a 4. I think part of it was the prompts. My G-d, were they ever stupid. I mean, for me at least, it's definitely easier to write more/a better essay on an interesting, thought-provoking prompt. The ones they gave us were like SAT prompts. Stupid, and just asking for everyone to write the same thing. The synthesis was on whether or not we should get rid of the penny as a form of donomination. I mean really, 2 sides, very few reasons, trivial. Another, the argument, was on advertising in school, the classic Coke paying for books. Another stupid, though perhaps slightly more important. But still, you can't write a really well rounded, college level essay on a prompt a 4th grader might get. I mean, you could, and I did my best, but they were just stupid. My LA teacher basically put it, if you get an A in her class, which is hard to get, you will get a 5. I worked my ass off in that class to learn how to write, and I think I learned well. I just wasn't planning on having to take the FEE. To have to go through another sit, wait, anticipate. It wasn't part of my summer plan.

And so my mother is on my back to do all this stuff minutes after I get the results. She doesn't get why it's a big deal, and why I need to process it. Now I need to take this test, which in it's self isn't that huge of a deal, but it could mess with my plans for classes and stuff next year. I'm the type of person who likes to make lists, make plans, and have things to follow. I've made many variations of possible schedules for next year, and I picked the one I liked best. This may mess it up. I don't want to take another writing class. That's why I switched into AP Lang with this teacher, which she didn't want me to, and then worked to get her to realize why I switch and to show her what I could do. I don't want to take a CI-HW, basically.

And so with these scores, I would have 39 units of AP credit, which isn't a whole bunch, but it is almost a semester. Now she wants me to graduate early, save $25,000 and she's pushing me into a corner. I haven't even started to think that far ahead, and I don't know how to respond to that. I don't know what to tell her, and she keeps talking about it. I haven't even started yet, I don't want to feel pressured into doing something 4 years down the line. I know it's a lot of money, I know I haven't gotten a lot of the scholarships I applied for (I feel like each time they tell me I was part of the smaller group, but didn't get the scholarship that they're saying, yes, you're good, and smart, but just not good or smart enough. Good luck.) I just sick of thinking about this already. I want to go to school but not have to think about paying for it. I love for it to start tomorrow. Get rid of the summer. I have never really liked summer. I'm not so good at the unstructured thing. I love my friends, but my good friends I really like to hang out with on a one-on-one basis aren't too big in numbers, and they are away a lot. I like my boss, but the girl who schedules us hates me. I always have the least number of hours, and usually my boss is around to call me to give me the extra hours, but he's on vacation this week.

I just want to go, and not have to think about anything else. I never want to work in a retail/ menial job position again; at least I'm motivated to get internships now. I just want to live, not have to think about living.

*If you couldn't already tell, this was a vent post. I have a lot to say today.

Augusto's Last Day

So today is the 28th, and the day that Augusto leaves Louisville for a drawn out journey back to Brazil. It's weird because I do feel like he is my brother, and it'll be weird for him not to be here. I mean, it's only been what, 5 months since he got here late, but I officially have an annoying little brother. Boy, does he know how to push buttons, but it was what I wanted. My sister and I aren't close, and don't get along very well, and I wanted to experience a normal sibling relationshiop, and now I have one.

I don't know when I'll see him again. I was going to try and go to Brazil to visit him and my friend Maria during IAP, but unfortunately, airfares during December and January are about $500 more expensive than any other time of the year. So that was put on hold. And now I'm going to try and go to SE Asia (Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore) with my friend Kelly in May, so I really don't know when I can go. School and wanting to get internships make things so complicated.

So basically, hosting was a great experience, and made up for the not so great hosted experiences I had in the Czech Republic, and I forever have a little brother in Brazil. I know he and I both wish he could stay longer, but I think his mother would freak out.

Chcí mluvít česky

Nikdo neumí češtinu. Chcí mluvít. Doufam že mohou přiští rok na Harvardu čestiny studovat. Že rozvrh fungovat. Jestli někdo čte, a umí čestinu, prosím pišej. Skoro 6 měšici jsem nemluvíla.

Will It Really Change?

So all through high school I've had really good friends, but I've never been one of those people who is friends with everyone, and I have to admit, I was always a little jealous. I love my friends, but there are definitely issues connecting with the others. I always felt like we just didn't have anything in common to talk about. They were interested in only frivolous things etc, and I always told myself in college it would be different. And I'm just scared it won't be. I'm good at making small talk, but beyond that? I scared about making real friends, and being separated from my 2 best friends, who I can tell everything to. We're all going to different states, to study different things.

I just hope I haven't built college up to something it can't be, and that I won't be disappointed. I don't want to be disappointed. I want to have a great 4 years and I hope that I won't ruin it for myself by thinking too much like I think I have before.

Cultural Houses

So I thought I had this whole thing figured out, I had decided I didn't want to live in a cultural house, but I just got a call from Jackie at French House and now I am utterly confused again. Though I probably won't live in French House due the the fact that je ne parler pas francais, I am awaiting a call from German House. Meh, life is confusing.

FPOP

FUP!!

Boston here I come!

Mugabe

This is scary.

"We shed a lot of blood for this country. We are not going to give up our country for a mere X on a ballot. How can a ball point pen fight with a gun?" -Mugabe

Zimbabwe is in a bad place right now. I can't even imagine being there, living there. I read When A Crocodile Ate the Sun and Let's Not Go to the Dogs Tonight, and it just is amazing the direction a formally stable country has gone in.

I declare myself insane

So I love rowing and am definitely looking forward to it next year, but waking up four days a week this summer at 4:30 to row at 5:30, I think I must be insane. I mean on a normal day I may only sleep till 7ish, but that's still an extra 2.5 hours.

Today was a little odd, being in a boat with 3 other very experienced rowers and 4 people who just graduated from the novice program, all put up in a very strange order, me rowing bow for the first time....ever. But I have to say it was okay. I was rowing behind the coach (turned rower) who taught me how to row. It's nice to follow someone who does everything everyone has ever taught you, and I don't feel like I was doing TOO badly. Hopefully as the new coaches get to know peoples ability, the boats will be divided a bit better, and be faster and actually able to row all 8 (!).

Work

So I have 7 hours now this week, instead of 4! Happy day, sort of....

Fun Day

So yesterday after waking up at the insanely early hour of 4:30 to go rowing, I had a pretty good day. Rowing was fun- I haven't been in an 8 in, well, probably over 8 months, but it all came back. And I rowed starboard, which I definitely need practice on in order to achieve the goal of the biswepsual (rowing both sides)-ness. I should probably be more proactive in trying to get closer to the front of the boat, but hopefully the coaches will put me there.

Then, after a brief stop at Vic's for an AMAZING vanilla steamer (cheap, good- it tastes like hot whipped cream, but hey- it has milk!), I had my hour at home before heading out again. I went with Kelly and Hannah to go see Sex and the City, and I don't think I've ever had quite as interesting a movie going experience. First, we decided to go to this place out in Westminster, because 1) it had the movie in the morn and 2) it was only $5, compared to the crazy price of $7.75 that AMC charges (even in the morning). First, we had to find the place, at the rundown Westminster mall. We pulled up to this sketchy looking building - the works, no windows, no real signs and then proceeded to wonder why the hell it was so deserted. I.E. no movie posters, and of course, all the cars were on the mall side, not the move theater side. There was one small sign saying something like, "Please join us at the inside theater for movie shows". So it turns out, in all of our brilliantness, that we could figure out that the inside theater meant inside the mall, but that was just the beginning of another adventure.

We were ten minutes late to the start of the movie, but it was still the beginning. So far so good. The guy who sold us tickets looked like a club bouncer, in his white muscle shirt, and bald head, and gold jewelry. Anyway, we got our $5 tickets, walked into the pitch black theater and couldn't see the person ahead of us, or the seats, but luckily we fell onto empty ones (not hard-there were only two other people in the theater). So about 5 minutes after we got there, some blob appeared on the screen. And then it started to spread. Kelly thought it looked like it was on fire. I thought it was like some type of amoeba. It was brown, and it started in a corner, and then it started to spread across the screen and bubble, and then white spots started to appear again. So this was at about 11:00, and we had gotten into the theater at about 10:55 for a 10:45 show. So Kelly went out and told the counter that something was eating the screen in the Sex and the City show, and they ignored her for like 10 minutes, as we sat there and commented on the likeness of Mr. Blob to other things. Then the three of us went out again, and reassured the two grandmotherly types in the theater with us that we would get them to fix it. So they came in and fixed it, which only took them about 20 minutes. Very efficient theater types.

We were back on our way into the world of New York. And of course, about 10 minutes later it stopped again, but luckily this time, it was only for 5 minutes. And after this second interruption the two ladies in the theater let us know they were done, and were going to go get their money back. So us three crazy girls had the entire theater to ourselves, to yell at the scream, comment on clothes and roll around on the floor.

I have to say that I liked Sex and the City. I've never seen the show before, but I didn't really feel that was detrimental. I've heard that people who watch it obsessively feel that the show writing is better, so they didn't like it much, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I do have to say I am a softie for more chick-flicky movies. I also enjoy foreign films, and heroes who went to MIT, but I will often watch a chick-flick and the complain about how addictive it is, and the proced to watch another. I'm addicted, what can I say?

So Sex and the City DID have some explicit scenes which made some in our viewing audience slightly uncomfortable *cough* Hannah *cough*, but it was fun to have the theater to ourselves and be able to laugh and talk and roll around on the floor.

One piece of advice though: there is far too much food in that movie to go in and watch on an empty stomach. Every time they ate, we complained how hungry we were. So we of course decided to forgo all the close food options, and headed for cheap lunch specials at Chef King. They have an amazing deal. For $6, you get one of those styrofoam boxes, with the two back parts heaped with rice, the front overflowing with whatever entree you choose, and the on top of that you get a fried wonton, an egg roll and a cup of soup. Best deal ever, and it's good. Again, we could have chosen to assauge our hunger and eat there, but of course we headed over to Starbucks to partake in the corporate coffee drinking culture. I have to say though, a Strawberry and Creme frappe goes really well with mongolian beef. Seriously, it was amazing. And it's always fun to make cute baristas drool over your food and thus be in conversation with them.

To top off a hectic day, my final event was attending my friend's Pre-New York piano recital. To say the least, Leann is an amazing pianist and is so into it, and is so good, and will probably get into Julliard, her top choice school. Despite this, I must admit that most classical piano sounds like elevator music to me, and has a tendency to cause my eyes to glaze over. I can tell Leann is amazing, but nonetheless, classical piano is not exactly my cup of tea. I much prefer things like AC/DC, the Beatles and the Kinks.

There Must Be A First

So I don't know if anyone will actually ever read this, but why not give it a shot?

The thing that sucks about summer: finding a job. So I guess I technically have a job, but I don't know how many people call working 4 hours a week being employed. I looked for a job before school ended so I would make sure that I would have one, and not be bored during the summer, and actually make money for school. But so far, in 2 shifts where I was supposed to work 8 hours, I have worked 5, and made probably $35. Big drop in the tuition bucket. So I am currently trying to find like 4 more jobs. I have an interview at the library (or actually the city's human resources office) for some library test, but I don't know exactly what that entails. And then I got an email from MIT's work-study office saying something about a summer work-study, so hopefully that will come through with one of the companies I am interested in, and then I applied at a couple of Starbucks, but I don't know how finicky their hiring policies are. So my attempt to ease my employment woes kind of didn't turn out well. Oh yeah, I'm also trying to start my own data entry business. Job hunting sucks.

On the bright side, I did find out today that I got another scholarship, bringing the total up to $3800 for next year. I still have three to find out from, but not for awhile. Society of Automotive Engineers is supposed to be June 30th, SWE is sometime in August, and Wire Reinforcement Institute is who knows when.

I am feeling cynical, not that it comes through in my writing. I hope that my whole summer isn't taken over by job hunting.